Set yourself up for success

If you are just getting into Pick Up, follow these 4 tips to facilitate and enhance your journey.

Connect with like-minded people

I highly suggest that you find a couple of friends that are as interested as you are to go out to talk to women. Then, hang out more often with these guys and strengthen the friendship. Having great friends to go out with will ensure that you have a good time every time you go out. It will also make it 10 times easier to go out to bars and clubs or try new activities with them, and you’ll have that extra confidence knowing that your buddies have your back.

Even if you plan on predominately meeting girls during the day by yourself, you should still nurture friendships with guys like you. You’ll share stories, discuss your successes and struggles and learn from each other.

If you feel like you need to find new friends, find guys that are successful in areas that you want to be successful in as you will learn a lot from them and some of their qualities will rub off on you.

You can obviously get good at meeting women by going out alone, and you should not depend on your buddies to take action, but having friends to take the journey with will make the journey easier and more enjoyable.

Join a sports league (or get involved in weekly social activities)

Regularly doing an activity that you love will help in keeping you happy and grounded no matter what else is going on in your life. Whether you’re having a bad week at work or got let down by a girl, your weekly fun activity will be a constant positive in your life.

Joining a recreational sports league (soccer, Ultimate Frisbee, softball, etc...) is a great way of meeting cool new people, having fun and exercising. You will socialize, feel great and look forward to game night. This is not about meeting girls but about having a well-rounded life. If you used to play soccer when you were younger, get back in it and join a competitive league.

If you are not into sports, I urge you to still give a recreational sports league a try for one season. If this is your first time playing, make sure to join the lowest division of the league. If unsure, join a co-ed league (teams of guys and girls mixed together) as this is where most non-competitive guys play.

If you tried joining a sports league but didn’t like it, see if you can squeeze in one of your favourite social hobbies once a week. Join a yoga class, salsa lessons, boxing lessons, do regular D&D meetups, go to an interesting lecture each week, go hiking on the weekends, etc... The point is to have at least one activity that you love and do regularly.

Join an Improv class

In addition to improv being a social activity where you’ll meet a bunch of cool people, you’ll learn a new way of interacting with people that can impact all areas of your life. It will also help you become wittier and have fun interactions with women. You’ll learn to think fast, have great banter, improve your delivery and get over the fear of failure. You’ll have more confidence in your social skills and you will start looking forward to going out and improvising with random girls after class!

In an improv class, you can expect to do group exercises to get you expressing yourself verbally and with your body. You will learn techniques to enhance your communication skills and build fun imaginary scenarios on the fly with others. You will also practice thinking fast under pressure when you get to go on stage in front of the class, which is pretty much the most realistic training for cold approaches that you can get apart from actually approaching women!

Have the right mindset

You mindset with respect to pick up will have the biggest impact on how easy or hard it is for you to achieve success. For example, social conditioning or past experiences may have given you the following beliefs:

  • Pick up is wrong or shameful. Girls feel bothered when they are randomly approached by guys.
  • If I become good enough, I’ll be able to get any girl I want without ever being rejected.

With these beliefs, which are false by the way, you’ll have trouble approaching girls because you don’t want to bother them or because you feel that you are doing something wrong. You’ll also take it personally if you get rejected because it is a reflection of how good you are with women. Do you see how these beliefs impact how easy it is for you to take action as well as how much you are affected by a girl’s acceptance or rejection?

Here are therefore my beliefs related to pick up, see if you agree with them:

  • Every approach is a success because I am taking action. Even rejection is a positive experience on many levels: a quick rejection saves you time, it can help you get in the zone for future approaches and desensitize you to rejections among other things.
  • Most women enjoy being approached. By initiating contact with them, I am providing an opportunity to have a fun and interesting interaction.
  • I will get rejected often; it is part of the game, out of my control and a lot of time not a reflection of myself. A girl might be in a relationship, not in the mood to socialize, having a horrible day, mad at men because of a breakup, not into me, etc...
  • When I go out, I go out to have fun and connect with women.

There might be exception to these but I believe that they are generally accurate, hopefully you have similar beliefs or you’ll replace your limiting beliefs by empowering ones.

My last piece of advice is to not be dependent on results. Every time you go out, go out to enjoy the night. Even if you go out and don’t get any phone numbers, make outs, etc..., you still succeeded because you had fun in this rollercoaster ride and took action!

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